Updated: Nov 8, 2021
The time is now
There is so much challenge in our world at the moment. Both for individuals and on a grand scale. The question which comes up within my therapeutic work so often from the people I work with is ‘ how do I make this different, change this feeling, feel better’.
In our culture, it feels to me there is a great deal of focus on giving out to others and that giving to self is seen as a ‘selfish and self centered way of being’.
But without nourishment and a recharging of our phenomenological batteries, how can we sustain ourselves? Particularly through the extraordinary times we live through now.
What makes you light up
A great deal of work is spent focusing on these ideas both for myself and with those i support. We begin this way.
What makes you light up, gives you joy, makes you feel sparky, calm, happy, contented or playful.
For a child who is not facing adversity this is such a normal state of being, of playful joy and creativity. The late and great poet mystic Jon O Donohue said "We are all the artists of our own lives"
As we grow older there is a gradual but perceivable sense of a ‘closing down’ towards a more ‘sensible self’. Often this image of how we ‘should be’ is constructed within us by our external experiences of how we are received; or met by others, perhaps family, friends, teachers, strangers and society. This is know as ‘interjection’: an internalisation of the voices or values of others.
These 'introjections' can become our internal 'scripts', which then to an extent ‘run us’ ; bind us and continue to trigger us from our subconscious.
Meeting and working with this material and making decisions on what actually serves us is the meat and bones of therapy work.
Get seriously playful and re-wild your inner child
‘ Don’t be silly’ perhaps you were told as a child, did you perceive this comment referring to a playful quality which was ’bad’? Did you endeavour to close down your playful self thinking it was ‘childish’, shameful and worthless?
There is so much possibility for play in life. Every time we create something:
a meal, a poem, a painting, dance, sing, formulate ideas- we are being creative and there is opportunity to play through our creative being, to be free and let go.
I observe children I have worked with in this freedom of play.
Pre 7yrs many children seem open like little flowers ready to connect and very much in the flow of play moment - to - moment.
Then around the age of 7 the external world suddenly seems to gain a lot of weight in their awareness. I look in to their eyes when I offer activities and their look asks me ‘is this ok now’, ‘will I get ridiculed/ told off if I let go into my wild self’.
I think as a nation, on the whole we care very much what others think of us, I definitely see this trait within myself. It is a rare occasion to meet someone in Britain who really doesn’t care a jot what others think of them. Is this cultural/ human of both... (a thesis to be written about that perhaps).
Is this what reduces a 'playful being' in our children?
This past weekend a 3 year old girl said to me “grown ups don’t play”. This was the catalyst for me to write this blog. I pondered this comment, it made me feel deeply sad, what a strong reflection from someone so young. And I wonder, how we can courageously battle the urge to be 'dumbed down' sensible unplayful adults and instead be spontaneous, creative, playful adults whom also have capacity to discern and contain when that is needed or appropriate.
Recently, I read an article written about the famous ballet dancer Rudolf Neureyov talking about his life and journey as a dancer. How through the hardships of his life the urgent need for him to dance had driven him whatever he experienced in his external life from others .
Even when he was dying he said he would “dance in his mind”. I felt very inspired reading his words and getting a sense of his unrelenting need to dance. He stated “ I used to dance because only while I danced could I break through the limits of my social condition, my shyness, my shame. When I danced, I would hold the universe in my hands.“ this comment took my breath away.
(original article here: https://www.theatreartlife.com/dance/in-the-face-of-death-rudolf-nureyevs-letter-to-dance/
The time is now
I have to admit that personally a great deal of my energy throughout my life has been focused on the pre-occupation and concern on ‘what others think of me’. There have been good reasons for this. Wounds and triggers in my psyche around feeling un-welcomed, unvalidated, accepted or celebrated. But a waste of my energy is has surely been!
In this moment I would like to celebrate the strength of the human spirit and the souls calling to move and create through the flow of life for its own sake alone, to be free and alive.
To enable us to be real to self, to follow those blissful playful feelings wherever possible and not to pay too deep an attention to the external judgements of ‘another’.
Here’s to a deeper sense of authenticity and nourishment. And bye-bye low moods, lack of self regard and depressions.
That’s just what the Dr ordered and it’s a process worth having for sure.
Change is possible and each step on the road can be a step towards health, happiness and healing.
If you would like to explore any of the themes engaged within this blog.
Click on my bookings page https://www.hazelosbornecounsellor.com/services
to see the full range of sessions I currently offer both face to face and online
Blessings on your journey